A Child Chosen

Explaining The Adoption Process

Thoughts From an International Adoptee

International adoptee Mary San Agustin shares that while adoption can be a positive thing for many parents and children, she knows that there is also a dark side. She shares that she had to experience abandonment in order to gain a new family, and that this is something that adoptees and their new families are sometimes reluctant to talk about. San Agustin also points out that some people engage in adoption for financial gain, and that the system is sometimes broken, meaning that children don’t always get the care they deserve.

San Agustin shares that adoption is part of her identity, but the fact that she was adopted also means that part of her identity is a mystery. Because she doesn’t know much about her birth family, San Agustin has no idea whether she has biological siblings, and isn’t sure when her actual birthday is. She asserts that most people do not have to wonder about these things, because this information is part of what makes them who they are. She is now left to speculate about the details of her life before adoption, and shares that this can have a profound effect on the mind of an adopted child.

Mary also speaks on the fact that she doesn’t know the circumstances surrounding her adoption. She’s not sure if she were an inconvenience to her birth parents, or if she is searching for relatives who actually don’t want to be found. She’s not sure if her mother’s pregnancy or her birth were a secret, and wonders if she is a “skeleton in someone’s closet.”

She also shares that in many ways, she is grateful for her adoptive family, and says she has learned to adapt to the changes of life as a result of being adopted. For more on San Agustin’s story, visit www.huffingtonpost.com.

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