In an article which was recently published by the BBC News Outlet, an adoptive parent discussed her lengthy journey through infertility, depression, hope, in vitro fertilization treatments, and the adoption process. The article was published as a part of the BBC’s effort to highlight adoption as a worthy choice for American families. In 2017, it was revealed that more than 200,000 children were waiting, during any given year, to be adopted by loving and supportive parents. The combination of declining birth rates, a higher age of adulthood among Americans, and a higher projected income among the current generation of young adults has made adoption a more likely option for families that it has been in half a century. Because of these combined factors, several families who have adopted children within the last decade or so have been asked to discuss the factors that led them to adoption and the adoption process.
Sophie S. of Philedelphia and her husband Johney had longed for a child since they wed in the early 2000s, but like many American families, they felt it best to become settled in their careers before introducing children to their tiny family. After spending years building carers and enjoying the married life without children, the couple finally decided that the time was right to introduce children into their home. After trying for two years, however, Sophie realized that there was a problem with the natural process between the the two of them. The couple sought out a professional opinion and quickly leaned that in vitro fertilization would be one of the only ways that they could achieve a viable pregnancy. The couple’s hopes of creating a family were dashed with this new realization. After all, they were an average American family who had not saved the funds to pay for the expensive in vitro fertilization process.
After struggling through depression as a couple and later resolving to personally fund the in vitro process, the couple attempted six treatments before choosing to adopt. Sophie and Johney are now the proud parents of a 5 year old adopted daughter.
Individuals or families who are preparing to adopt have likely read books and articles and talked to professionals about how to be successful at adoptive parenting. However, a former adopted child decided to share her perspective on what adoptive parents should know, and this brings a fresh take on the aspects of the adoption process that are not immediately considered.
The writer shares that it’s important to keep in mind that adoption is impossible without some type of loss. When a child loses his/her parents, this is traumatic, regardless of the child’s age. This will also affect the relationship that children have with their adoptive parents, so parents should be prepared to lovingly work with children who are dealing with abandonment or anger.
The author also shares that children need to be reminded that they are loved — often. This is particularly important on days when the child is being particularly difficult. Love is not a substitute for being adopted, but having the support and care of loving adoptive parents can help a child tremendously.
It is important for adoptive parents to continually reassure their children that they won’t leave or abandon them. Even if this happens on a daily basis, there is a still a small part of many adoptees that is afraid of abandonment. Parents should be understanding and sensitive to this. It’s also essential for adoptive parents to already be ready to advocate for their children when friends, family and school administrators ask potential hurtful or rude questions concerning adoption. Children who have been adopted need to know that someone will stand up for them no matter what, for as long as it takes.
For additional information on adoptive parenting and the adoption process, visit www.huffingtopost.com.
Rob and Zack are a married couple who adopted their son Asher in March of 2017. The couple’s road to parenthood has been a whirlwind, but both men say that becoming fathers is a dream come true. The pair was introduced to each other through friends and have been together about 7 years. They got married in September of 2013 and are both in their early 30s. The couple resides in Washington, D.C: Rob works in the nonprofit sector and Zack works for the state.
Before the couple made the choice to become parents, they spent a considerable amount of time trying to choose between adoption and surrogacy. They wondered how important it would be to have a biological connection to the child in terms of forming a bond. Of course, the cost of having a surrogate was also considered. After some debate, they decided that adoption was the best choice for their family.
Biological connection was not necessarily a priority for Rob and Zack, and Rob’s parents have yet to accept that their son is gay and married to a man. Rob barely speaks with his mother and father, but maintains a positive relationship with his siblings, their families and his extended relatives. This may have factored into Rob and Zack’s decision to adopt a child, since it has been Rob’s experience that being related to someone by blood does not always indicate a strong bond.
Just four days after the couple signed up to be adoptive parents, they got a call to travel to Texas to meet Asher and Asher’s birth mother. Rob was overseas when the agency called, so Zack had to prepare for the trip for the both of them, even though he wasn’t sure how long their Texas stay would be. The couple state that they hadn’t prepared for a baby, since they’d applied for adoption so recently. However, with the help of loved ones, they were able to make Asher’s transition into their home a smooth one.
Check out www.huffingtonpost.com for more heartwarming stories about adoption.