The process of adoption can be equally challenging and beautiful for all parties involved. Adoptive parents often wonder if they are doing enough for their children in terms of emotional support and physical provision, and adoptive kids tend to struggle with feelings of worthlessness and abandonment. However, it’s possible for adoptive families to find a “rhythm” that works for them, especially when parents understand where their children are coming from.
It’s important for adoptive parents to keep in mind that each child will have different feelings about his/her adoption. Some will be grateful that their birth parents gave them up; others will be resentful. Some adopted children may experience hurt and confusion because of the adoption, and will express this in a number of ways. Adoptive parents should be willing to let their children communicate their feelings, and constantly provide a sense of security to reaffirm to their children that they have a place to call home.
Adoptive parents should also let go of any embarrassment or shame that comes with adopting children. In some social circles, not being able to or choosing not to have biological children is frowned upon. People may also look at adoptive parents with skepticism if they choose to adopt children of a different race. Adoptive parents should treat their children as if they gave birth to them, no matter what anyone thinks. Children who have been adopted likely already have insecurities and are self-conscious, and when they see their parents give in to social pressure, there could be negative psychological effects. Children need a sense of normalcy, and everyone needs and deserves to be loved.
For more information about adoption or to read heartwarming stories of adoptive families, check out www.huffingtonpost.com.