In a recent adoption article published by the New York Times, an adoptive parent discussed the nature of what he called “adoption culture” and its impact on the lives of adopted children. In the article, the adoptive father suggested that the adoption of unwanted children was not as beneficial to the adoptive children as “white, privileged” parents assumed it was. He also suggested that those interested in adoption should seek to implement political structures that would support mothers who wanted to keep their unborn children alive but were underprivileged and were looking into adoption.
This parent’s response to American citizens who desired to adopt children was recently highlighted as a way the country’s politically correct ideology impacts otherwise logical and compassionate world systems. Not a decade ago, most Americans understood the fact that adoption was a necessary and beneficial act of love toward children who have already been given away by their biological parents. The act of adoption generally shows love and support, not only for the adopted children, but for families who felt unprepared to raise a child or end his or her life unjustly. One author pointed out that this article reflects the impact of the social justice warrior thought process on basic compassionate functions. Instead of praising families who wished to care for children who are not their own, this adoptive parent wrote an article condemning those families for exercising their privileged by daring to believe that the circumstances of the adoptive home would be better than the circumstances of the child’s previous home.
The author discussing this article pointed out that adoptive parents should actually review the facts of their potential child’s circumstance before rushing to make decisions using only feelings, as this article’s contributor did. According to adoption statistics, most children who are adopted in the United States do, in fact, leave a home that is inferior in income, education levels, and social environment, to the home of their adoptive parents.
Being a parent is one of the most difficult undertakings in the world today. One thing you need to know is that this process does not come with a guide and there is actually no right or wrong way to go about this. While this is true, it’s equally true to note that this process gets even harder when adopting and raising an adopted child, nonetheless it can be managed.
Since time immemorial, parents have been adopting children and this process has been nothing short of a roller coaster of mixed emotions and paper burden. However, thanks to the vast wealth of experience having adopted a kid on my own, I seek to make this process less bearable to anyone involved. This said however, I must caution anybody planning to adopt a child that due diligence and getting to know the process. While the adoption process may vary from one family to another below are some of the basics you need to familiarize with.
Decide to adopt
Child adoption can be quite rewarding if you get your footing right in the process. While this is true, this miracle can also cause you your family. Therefore before you get into the process ensure that you are right to adopt and that adopting a kid is healthy to your family. You will have to consult your family on this.
Research and choose an adoption
Research is your best friend when it comes to adopting a child. Get to understand the legalities and what type of adoption will suit you and your family. Doing this will help you avoid the many avoidable hiccups in the future.
Adopting and raising a child can be tricky but with the right kind of help all will. Use the above tips to get started.
Individuals or families who are preparing to adopt have likely read books and articles and talked to professionals about how to be successful at adoptive parenting. However, a former adopted child decided to share her perspective on what adoptive parents should know, and this brings a fresh take on the aspects of the adoption process that are not immediately considered.
The writer shares that it’s important to keep in mind that adoption is impossible without some type of loss. When a child loses his/her parents, this is traumatic, regardless of the child’s age. This will also affect the relationship that children have with their adoptive parents, so parents should be prepared to lovingly work with children who are dealing with abandonment or anger.
The author also shares that children need to be reminded that they are loved — often. This is particularly important on days when the child is being particularly difficult. Love is not a substitute for being adopted, but having the support and care of loving adoptive parents can help a child tremendously.
It is important for adoptive parents to continually reassure their children that they won’t leave or abandon them. Even if this happens on a daily basis, there is a still a small part of many adoptees that is afraid of abandonment. Parents should be understanding and sensitive to this. It’s also essential for adoptive parents to already be ready to advocate for their children when friends, family and school administrators ask potential hurtful or rude questions concerning adoption. Children who have been adopted need to know that someone will stand up for them no matter what, for as long as it takes.
For additional information on adoptive parenting and the adoption process, visit www.huffingtopost.com.
A recent post by the New York Times revealed that the Canadian government is attempting to restore proper relationships with the country’s native populations. The country has a history of injustice toward its native people, and are seeking to restore relationships following the government’s 1960s decision to remove indigenous children from their reservations and put them up for adoption by non-native families. The decision came as a result of Westward expansion and, according to the New York Times, has impacted thousands of families that are native to the Americas. The decision to resettle native children, colloquially known as the the Sixties Swoop, is now being recognized across Canada as a catastrophe that should be accounted for.
The efforts to eradicate the result of the adoptions that took place during the sixties began about a decade ago when the Canadian government made official apologetic statements regarding the Sixties Swoop. In 2008, the Canadian government implemented a class action settlement that would pay out at least 750 million dollars to families that were negatively affected by the widespread adoption process. According to the New York Times, many individuals who were adopted during this time or who had their children forcibly removed from their households have come forth to discuss the implications the adoption process had on their livelihoods.
Several adults who were removed from their homes during the Canadian Sixties Swoop discussed their upbringing and the cultural effect of the removal. Nancy Hodges, a woman who was 6 years old when she was removed from her family in 1962 and placed in the adoptive care of a white family, stated that the effects of her removal were catastrophic and lasting. She stated that although her adoptive parents were kind and caring, she loved and dearly missed her biological parents and reconnected with them during her late teen-aged years. Nancy recounted several stories of family events that she missed during her time living with her adoptive parents and has always been disheartened at the fact that she missed time with her father before his death when she was 19.
Rob and Zack are a married couple who adopted their son Asher in March of 2017. The couple’s road to parenthood has been a whirlwind, but both men say that becoming fathers is a dream come true. The pair was introduced to each other through friends and have been together about 7 years. They got married in September of 2013 and are both in their early 30s. The couple resides in Washington, D.C: Rob works in the nonprofit sector and Zack works for the state.
Before the couple made the choice to become parents, they spent a considerable amount of time trying to choose between adoption and surrogacy. They wondered how important it would be to have a biological connection to the child in terms of forming a bond. Of course, the cost of having a surrogate was also considered. After some debate, they decided that adoption was the best choice for their family.
Biological connection was not necessarily a priority for Rob and Zack, and Rob’s parents have yet to accept that their son is gay and married to a man. Rob barely speaks with his mother and father, but maintains a positive relationship with his siblings, their families and his extended relatives. This may have factored into Rob and Zack’s decision to adopt a child, since it has been Rob’s experience that being related to someone by blood does not always indicate a strong bond.
Just four days after the couple signed up to be adoptive parents, they got a call to travel to Texas to meet Asher and Asher’s birth mother. Rob was overseas when the agency called, so Zack had to prepare for the trip for the both of them, even though he wasn’t sure how long their Texas stay would be. The couple state that they hadn’t prepared for a baby, since they’d applied for adoption so recently. However, with the help of loved ones, they were able to make Asher’s transition into their home a smooth one.
Check out www.huffingtonpost.com for more heartwarming stories about adoption.