Amy Seek recently submitted a moving piece to the New York Times where she discussed the realities of open adoption. Seek, a New Jersey architect who lived in New York city during her college years, discussed her experiences with open adoption and, in doing so, revealed her great love for her birth son and his adoptive mother. The piece received a massive response by subscribers to the Times and Amy Seek has also penned a piece thanking readers for their overwhelming show of support and encouragement.
In her opinion editorial, Amy Seek describes the emotional process she went through when she decided to give her baby up for adoption, when she opted for an open adoption, and finally had to leave her child behind. Seek became pregnant when she was 23 years old and had already separated from the child’s father. She felt that she was not ready for children because she desired to pursue a career in architecture did not think she could complete this goal with a child. The father of the child was supportive of Seek during her pregnancy, and supported her decision to give the child up for adoption. Both Amy and the father of her child began the process of seeking an adoptive family.
Seek describes her meeting with her son’s future birth mother as one where she instantly knew they connected. Seek’s connection to her son’s birth mother extended to the present time. Seek now visits her son routinely as a part of their open adoption process. These visits are both joyous and painful for the architect. She describes her adoption decision as her greatest accomplishment and deepest regret. While she cannot be more pleased with the outcome of her son’s life and deeply respects his mother, she also realizes that she is now ready for children and hurts for her son’s presence in her life. Amy Seek’s story is a hopeful and painful, real life encounter with a courageous decision.