A Child Chosen - Perspectives of an Adoptive Parent

Institutional Autism

Institutional Autism is not a genetically induced Autism like most diagnosed here in the States, but one learned from years of neglect and sensory deprivation. Dr. Federici, a renowned adoption psychologist has done a vast amount of research on this topic and written numerous articles. He and M. Rutter, am American Psychologist indicate some of the major symptoms of institutional autism as:

• Sensory and social deprivation can result in the autistic-like behaviors.
• These behaviors may diminish after the child is removed from the initial deprived environment.
• A substantial minority of children will continue to exhibit these difficult behavior patterns for many years.

Risk Factors:
• Heredity and neurological make-up of the adopted child.
• Lack of postnatal care and negative conditions of development before institutionalization.
• Age when placed in an institution and the length of institutionalization.
• Conditions in institution/country of adoption.

Basically, children learn to be autistic because of their experience in the orphanage…stimulating themselves to pass the time or to entertain themselves. In our case, we believe AJ was swaddled for a decent amount of the two years he was there. He was chronically ill will bronchial infections due to an undiagnosed milk intolerance and an oat and banana allergy (the two main foods in his diet there ). Thus, if he was ill he would have either been swaddled and placed on his back in his crib or left to sleep in the playpen off to the side.

Now, if you were 1-2 years old with nothing to do, no toys to play with…what would you do????

AJ learned to play with toys inappropriately (line up and spin all toys because what else can toys do?), poke his eyes, spin in circles, stare out windows, throw monster tantrums at ANY change in movement (if you were in the same place ALL day, would you like to be moved?), stare at lights to keep from sleeping, attentive to every sound (in his crib he could not make eye contact but could hear everything)…I could go on but those are the MAJOR items.

Now, those things have diminished, as have most of his sensory issues. As Federici and Rutter state, most children will recover from Institutional Autism given the right home life. Thank goodness he has been given that.

One thing that we are specifically working on is making sure that AJ has the right resources to improve, not just the “positive dynamic in the child’s development of appropriate behaviors in the family.” If he truly does have organic autism we need to make sure to have him tested on a regular basis. Now that AJ has been home two years and has made some language improvements we need to start chronically his improvements. If he does not make any improvements (or falls behind) we should be looking at organic autism, not just institutional autism.

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How to: A Break Box

In our house we have what is called a Break Box for beating the winter blues and for days when AJ just needs to relax. Because of his sensory regulatory issues we have almost all of his toys put away and in the toy closet (and locked up). If he wants to get something he needs to use his words to ask for a particular item and then we put it back at the end of the night.

Right now, AJ is very attached to one or two things and carries them around all day. He has even attempted to take them to school in his pocket, which is quite funny.

The guidelines for the box:
1. The break box is not really a box but is a bucket full of items that AJ loves and is certain to relax with (the key to the break box).
2. These are all items that you should have in your home already and know that your child will love each and every time he or she opens the box.
3. Decorate the box or bucket so your child knows it is special.
4. Use it sparingly but often enough that it is recognizable.

1. Hot Wheels
2. 100 Standard Pegs For Easy Grip Pegs/Boards
3. Crayola Model Clay
4. Melissa and Doug 60-Piece Standard Unit Blocks
5. 2005 Ford Mustang
6. Rainstick
7. Glitter Lava Lamp

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Bottle and Formula Feeding for Adopted Infants

This list is THE most concise and THE best information that I can find on bottle and formula feeding so I have brought it directly to you (there is no reason to reinvent the wheel, right?) But, I want to give credit to the fabulous doctors who created the list…The Center for Adoptive Medicine. Make sure to check out the website for more information about adoptive medicine.

Bottle-feeding and Formula Links:

• • A concise history of infant formula (twists and turns included) - Contemporary Pediatrics

  Fun historical reading … Read More - Bottle and Formula Feeding for Adopted Infants

  Tags: , adooptive medicine, Adoption, bottle, formula

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Adoption Quote of the Week

“Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young (Dumbledore)”
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Book 5))

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Ethiopian Christmas: Genna

Christmas, traditionally called Lidet in Ethiopia, falls on January 7. It is celebrated by a serious church servcie that goes well on into the night with people traveling from church to church.

It is said that traditionally, young men also played a game that is similar to hockey, called genna. To this day they say that this is how Christmas came to be known as Genna.

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When Does it Get Better?

There are many, many people out there who will tell you that adoption is easy. I don’t think those people have actually adopted. I don’t think those people have adopted older children or special needs children or twins. Because if they knew what adoption was really like for the majority of people they would never, ever, in their lives tell you that adoption was easy.

Adoption took it’s toll on me. It almost killed my marriage. It wore me down to my very breaking point. And I had absolutely no one who understood what I was going through.

Luckily, Eric and I sought professional help in the form of an attachment therapist. We got AJ all of the medical and emotional help he needed and he has thrived. Read More - When Does it Get Better?

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ACLU sues over Adoption Restrictions

Over a dozen families sued Tuesday to challenge the new Arkansas law that bans couples living together from adoption or becoming foster parents.

The Arkansas chapter of the ACLU filed the lawsuit in Pulaski County to attempt to overturn Act 1, which was approved last month.

To read more…ACLU of Arkansas sues over adoption restrictions.

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The Dawning of a New Year

Well, we are up for the dawning of the new day in our house, as sleep has been hard to come by this holiday season…

Our New Year will be full of joy, more sleepless nights, and plenty of diapers, something we have not dealt with for almost two years. But what about my resolutions?

This year my resolutions are not about things or items like they were last year. Last year my goals were to reduce things, clear clutter, purge and simplify. I’ve done well shedding items but like Stephanie says, I’m still living day to day with little purpose.

I often see the world half empty, way too often. Perhaps it is because I feel the cards we were dealt were too difficult or because I didn’t want those cards. Who really wants to live with infertility? And gosh, adoption is difficult, you all know that.

I have hoped for a long time that Gus would be the answer to our family happiness, that he would bring some sunshine and laughter back to a family that needs some relief. I have come to realize though that it can never be a child’s job to do that. It is my job. It is my job, my purpose, to pick up my broken pieces and glue us all back together.

So, as this day dawns I am resolving to see the glass full, not half full, not three quarters full, but four quarters full. There are four of us now, not just two, not just three, but four.

And, I think my family deserves a full glass.

Happy New Year and God Speed the Little Ones!

Marcie, Eric, Alexander and Agustin

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Orson Mozes Arrested

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Guatemala Adoption, Finally

Finally, after one year of waiting we are off to Guatemala this weekend to bring our new son home. I know that most of you can imagine my excitement because if you are reading this blog you are in some way connected to adoption.

Last year we were in Guatemala City the day after Christmas to meet our future son and this year we will be there for the New Year to bring him home. For us, it has been a long year, waiting, dealing with the unknown, trying to understand mistakes that should not have been made.

But, when it comes down to it we know that Gus is in a good place, that he is taken care of and that he is happy. We don’t look forward to the grief we know he will have for his foster family and the potential rough adjustment he will have but we also know that it comes with adoption. AJ went through it and it is my belief that most children, no matter how hard parents try to ignore it, go through it.

Guatemala has experienced it’s own turmoil this year, enough to leave children without homes, adoptive parents in flux, the adoption community (agencies) in a state of financial emergency, and even in legal trouble for European Adoption (ummm… Orson Mozes?) and adoption personnel in Guatemala.

We feel so grateful that we have made it this far, that we have finally made it to the finish line so to speak. There are so many families before us that are still stuck in this process. We know what it feels like to take the steps needed and then falter. We missed months of his first year because of foolish mistakes.

Perhaps there were reasons…

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